Too Soon
by Tara Laurel
Summary: "As he stood over the motionless but living woman, John was able to finally breathe again…The incident that had occurred less than a year earlier was the furthest thing from Carter's blissful mind. And then, it happened." Oneshot of Carter's th


**Too Soon **

_Synopsis: "As he stood over the motionless but living woman, John was able to finally breathe again…The incident that had occurred less than a year earlier was the furthest thing from Carter's blissful mind. And then, it happened." Oneshot of Carter's thoughts and emotions when a young girl shoots & kills his patient in front of him. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW, THANKS!_

There exist particular professions that tend to increase your potential for injury and sometimes even put you at death's door every single day. For people in these certain careers, the threat of death is common, anticipated even. There are, though, other jobs where employees do not come through the entrance expecting to possibly die. An accountant's only true enemies are debt and auditors. A chef might burn himself, but he never thinks the pots and pans are going to stage a revolt. Dr. John Carter had learned to expect suffering and death in his career, but that it happened to those he treated, those around him. He never imagined how truly dangerous his life could be.

As he stood over the motionless but living woman, John was able to finally breathe again. She was stable, for now, and they certainly were not out of the woods yet, but it was something. If not for him, this woman might have very well been dead and that failed to give him a sense of pride, but a feeling of great compassion and gratitude. He felt at home, back helping people, saving lives again. He had been restricted to performing only menial tasks for so long that the excitement of a life on the brink spiked his adrenaline. Of course he cared about the other patients that required care, but it was different somehow. Listening to someone describe their symptoms of the flu was just dissimilar to leaning over a person, their very existence in your hands. Sure, it was stressful beyond description. Sure, it did not always turn out like you would hope. But when it did, when you put everything you had into a patient's survival and pulled them through, no matter how long it took, no matter how close to the edge you got, it was a victory and Carter certainly was internally celebrating. The incident that had occurred less than a year earlier was the furthest thing from Carter's blissful mind. And then, it happened. The young girl had seemed so sincere and John did not even question her unannounced arrival. She spoke politely and quietly, all the while gazing down at the woman who was minutes ago inches away from death. He answered her question nonchalantly and failed to even make significant eye contact. When the shots then suddenly rang out and Carter realized it was the girl doing the shooting, he instinctively ducked down to safety. His mind reeled back and his heart skipped several beats before quickening. This couldn't be happening, not again. In that moment, John was sure he was going to die. He had escaped death's clutches by not much more than a hair the first time and gravely assumed that he could not do it again. The shots ceased and Carter hesitantly rose to his feet. The other doctors hurried in, but he barely heard anything they said. He gazed at the bloody woman lying on the bed and then down at his red stained coat. The image of his own blood on his hand flashed in his mind. He could hear himself screaming out for help and then imagined collapsing to the ground. A million thoughts and questions rolled through his head in a wave. He had seen her face, had heard her voice, and hadn't had the slightest idea of what she was capable of. He hadn't foreseen anything with Paul Sobricki either. Two killers, and he had never seen it coming with either. Paul had been schizophrenic; he fully believed that what he did was to protect himself. This new murderer was just a girl, a young girl. How could there be so much bad in the world, Carter thought to himself in a child like manner. He couldn't stop them and he couldn't save their victims. Lucy had been lying merely feet away from him when he entered the room before getting stabbed. This patient had been on the bed in front of him and there was nothing he could do. It was all simply too much, too soon. He could hardly pick an emotion, let alone a thought. Guilt, terror, confusion, grief, all swelled inside of him in a mass. In a daze, John ripped off his gloves and glasses and walked away from the scene, knowing that the woman that he had just saved was not going to make it this time


End file.
